During my life I had always thought food can either be your friend or your foe. When I was young, my mother often told me that I had to eat healthy foods otherwise I will put weight on and not look good. I felt as though I was forced to eat these healthy foods and I didn’t have a choice of what I could eat. I would sneak out the back door and run to the shop and buy sweets, chocolate and cakes. During the time, it felt great to eat these foods, to have that sugar fix; I always felt that food could offer me something that nothing else can. I think now, I have grown up, I have realised that food gave me a choice. That I could secretly treat myself and there we no sudden bad health implications.

My friends would wind me up because I could eat anything and I wouldn’t put on weight. But this all changed! As I got older, I carried on eating the delicious sweet and savoury snacks and I didn’t know that the binge eating was affecting my digestive system. I began to put on weight, and put it on quickly. So, I decided to go to on a diet program at first, it was great! I lost almost 3 stone and was feeling happy that the weight was falling off me. But then I began to crave foods that I was not allowed to have, these foods were called Syns. Well, we were allowed the foods but we had to count the amount of Syns, if we went over those Syns it was classed as unhealthy. Reflecting back to my earlier life, I grew up in a catholic family and a sin was classed as a forbidden act, I felt as though this gave me the opportunity to rebel; because the more I couldn’t have it, the more I wanted it. Therefore, I began to fall into a vicious cycle of eating unhealthy food and always craving the next sugar fix. I felt as though my life was very scattered and people would always take from me, the food helped fill that missing piece. I knew I needed to start tidying up my life, so I started with my bedroom. Something that I knew I could do. I tidied my bedroom, then tidied my living space. Getting on top of my living areas put me in a clean environment where I could focus and on my life. Those small changes in my life made me feel much more happier and content. Once I started to change my feelings and surroundings, my food consumption became much healthier.

Letting go of a food problem start with taking charge with our life and taking charge begins with awareness. We learn to be aware of ourselves in the present and take life minute by minute. Food problems are not about food, they are about feelings.

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