Listen

I have 2 ears and only one mouth! How can I show that I’m really listening?

Play a short segment of a recorded music piece, or of a live instrumental performance.  Listen using reasonable mind.  Be analytical- (not judgmental)  just the facts.  Listen to the music logically.  Notice such things as what instruments are playing, or listen for a particular phrase, or whatever facts you can notice.  Share.

 Play it again and this time listen from the perspective of emotion mind.  Maybe the music makes you feel soothed, or peaceful, or sad.

 Play it again and this time listen from the perspective of wise mind/ integrated mind.

How to apply this in life? 

When in distress emotionally, listen in this way. Observe and describe from the perspective of each state of mind.  Observing and describing is a mindfulness skill which allows us to step back from the throws of emotion mind and be an observer; more likely to make wise decisions, choose wise actions and participate mindfully.

We all know people who appear like they are always in their emotional mind.  So have them listen for a particular phrase or instrument from the perspective of reasonable mind,  consciously listening for from that perspective rather than just feeling emotion from listening to music.  As they notice, observe, and describe it can shift them out of emotion mind and into a wise observer place.

Another life application for this is if someone says something that offends you, listen to whatever they said from all 3 perspectives (reasonable mind, emotion mind, and wise mind) and then come to a conclusion about the situation.

Here is the Decider skills video about listening as a part of Interpersonal Effectiveness:

Here are some worksheets or activities you can do: