Relationships require attention. Whether it’s a friend, lover, coworker, or family member; maintaining good relationship depends on noticing the feelings and reactions of others and then watching the communication process.

Here are some Decider Skills and Advanced DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Techniques:

End or Mend

End or Mend Is this relationship healthy for me? How can I end or mend this relationship? Can I keep a door open? Focus on the problem, not the person When a disagreement turns to personal insults, raised voices, or mocking tones, the conversation is no longer productive. Be careful to focus on the problem… Continue reading End or Mend

Talk the Talk

Talk the Talk Communicate assertively. Smile – warm & friendly – relaxed – comfortable eye contact. Traits of Assertive Communicators • Clearly state needs and wants• Eye contact• Listens to others without interruption• Appropriate speaking volume• Steady tone of voice• Confident body language Assertiveness Tips Respect yourself. Your needs, wants, and rights are as important… Continue reading Talk the Talk

Crystal Clear

Crystal Clear Concise – Lucid & Logical – Emotion-free expression – Assertive – Realistic: these are some words that important to keep in mind when communicating with others. In order to ask for something out of the relationship with somebody, first you have to know what it is exactly that you want. This may not… Continue reading Crystal Clear


Reflect What can I learn about what happened? What went well? What didn’t go so well? What can I do differently next time? Reflections are a powerful tool to improve communication. This worksheet includes one page of education with an overview of how to use reflections (including tips and an example), followed by one page… Continue reading Reflect


Respect When interacting with others, to be effective, we want to keep the relationship in mind and do what we can to take care of it so it will continue and flourish, but never at the cost of our own values, self-respect, or needs. In any interpersonal situation, be mindful of these things to be… Continue reading Respect


Listen I have 2 ears and only one mouth! How can I show that I’m really listening? Play a short segment of a recorded music piece, or of a live instrumental performance.  Listen using reasonable mind.  Be analytical- (not judgmental)  just the facts.  Listen to the music logically.  Notice such things as what instruments are… Continue reading Listen

Describe your Emotion

Describe your Emotion This is the fourth exercise of the Basic Mindfulness Skills, that will help you recognise and focus on your thoughts, emotions and physical sensations. This exercise will ask you to choose an emotion and then describe that emotion by drawing it and exploring it. Ideally, you should choose an emotion that you’re… Continue reading Describe your Emotion


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