Am I Gay? (LGBT+)
Questioning your sexuality? You are not alone…
Although there is no pressure to have a label for your sexuality, it can sometimes be a comfort to be sure of what your prefer when you are feeling confused, unsure or ashamed of your feelings… sexuality is something personal but also is celebrated more and more for being yourself and accepting who you are for you.
Straight, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, asexual, transexual, gender neutral or none of these. There are several resources out there to help you along the way.
But as mentioned above, you don’t need to label yourself if you’re confused, or explain yourself to anyone for that matter, but do know you are just perfect as you are. Most importantly, trust the process of it.
If it helps, try to journal your feelings, here are some prompts and questions to help you find your answer:
Who are you attracted to?
How do you feel when you refer to yourself with this new sexual identity?
How do you feel calling yourself straight?
If you lived on the side of a mountain with no heteronormative influences, how would you identify?
How do you feel when you picture yourself with a person of the same gender or someone beyond the gender binary?
How do you feel when you picture yourself in a relationship with this person?
What kind of qualities can you give your sexuality? Does it have a colour or smell?
What would it feel like to accept your sexuality?
‘I had a sex dream about someone who’s the same gender as me – what does it mean?’
Having one dream about someone who is the same gender as you probably doesn’t mean you’re gay or lesbian.
On the other hand, if your sexual dreams are always about members who are the same gender as you, and you enjoy similar fantasies and daydreams, they could be telling you something.
‘I suddenly thought about someone my own gender while I was masturbating – what does it mean?’
For lots of us, sexuality isn’t as simple as being gay or straight. Lots of people have fantasies involving people the same gender as them, even if they wouldn’t want to actually have sex with them.
Meanwhile, if your sexual fantasies are usually about people of your own gender and have been for a while, it’s a pretty strong indication you’re attracted to people who are the same gender as you.
‘Me and my mate started getting off with each other – am I gay/lesbian?’
Having a sexual experience with someone the same gender as you does not automatically make you gay or lesbian. That’s up to you to discover and find out – you could be gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight or one of many different sexual orientations. One experience doesn’t make up your whole identity.
In the meantime, you should know that what happened is a fairly normal part of growing up and try not to stress about it.
Here are some more resources: