Learning how to Cope with Relationship Anxiety
“Are they cheating on me?”
“Are they really where they say they are?”
“I only feel secure when we’re together, but feel extremely anxious when we’re apart”
In some cases, even after the exchange of “I love you” in the relationship, these questions still remain. If you find yourself asking these questions, you may be familiar with relationship anxiety.
When a person starts to feel anxious about life with a current or prospective partner, it’s an understandable worry—this is a big part of their lives. However, in certain cases, this worry becomes so crippling, it can prevent the relationship from flourishing, or even taking off, to begin with.
Causes of relationship anxiety
When worries begin to spread and become a familiar feature of a budding or current relationship, you may be dealing with relationship anxiety.
Let’s take a look at some common causes.
Anxious attachment style
When you find yourself constantly questioning the safety of your relationship or the depth of your partner’s affection for you, this can sometimes be traced back to your relationship with your parents or other caregivers when you were growing up. If their parents or guardians have consistently shown love and affection for their children, this can form a safe attachment style to these relationships.
However, if a child is shown love and care in some situations, and cruelty and abandonment in other situations, they may form anxious attachments to those they love and trust.
People with anxious attachment styles often question their worth and are typically on guard, watching for the first signs that their partners may be losing interest in them. In addition, this attachment places them in a state of worry over losing their significant others.
How Relationship Anxiety Presents Itself
Here are some ways to tell that anxiety is manifesting itself in your relationship:
- ✔️ Wondering if your partner truly has feelings for you
- ✔️ Looking for constant reassurance from your partner
- ✔️ Aiming to please your significant other at any cost, sometimes to your detriment
- ✔️ Acting controlling towards your partner’s movements or interactions
- ✔️ Consistently wanting to be around your partner and being clingy in most situations
- ✔️ Holding doubts about romantic compatibility
- ✔️ Over-analysing simple words and actions for signs of trouble
- ✔️ Constantly feeling like your partner intends to call off the relationship
- ✔️ Spending more time worrying about the relationship than enjoying it
In other cases, relationship anxiety may take the form of deliberately sabotaging things with your partner. This can be seen where slight issues are blown out of proportion or where traps are laid for your partner to test fidelity.
Ways to Overcome Relationship Anxiety
Communicate Your Emotions
To get ahead of anxiety, it’s important to have honest conversations with your partner about your worries, expectations, or dreams for the future.
Being Present & Distancing Yourself from the Anxiety
When you catch your mind starting to wonder about the fate of your relationship in years to come, it is always advisable to nip that in the bud and enjoy the present moment.
Considering whether or not your partner will even be in your life in five years, or if they’ll still find you desirable in months to come, only takes away from cherishing your current joy. Instead, it saddles you with worry over future events that may not even occur.
In certain situations, getting professional help to manage your anxiety may be the best option for getting it under control.
Through therapy, you can receive the proper guidance to change negative and dysfunctional thoughts about yourself, your self-worth, and your attitude towards your partner.
Therapy can also teach appropriate methods to manage your anxiety to prevent lasting damage to the relationship.
These are analogy for Attachment styles which more info is shown in the Relationship category.
- What is driving my relationship anxiety?
- What ways can I self-soothe during my anxiety?