Opposite Action

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Doing the opposite of your emotional Urges

There are several good reasons for feeling the way you feel, because how you feel is completely valid. The larger-problem is emotion-driven behaviour, because acting on emotions can often create destructive outcomes.

For example: have you ever got angry and then you start shouting at somebody, or while letting fear drive you, avoid a task or challenge?

Another reason why acting on emotion-driven impulses is that they intensify your original feeling – instead of getting relief, you get even more consumed by the emotion.

This is what emotion-driven behaviour is and you can avoid reacting by doing this reflective work:

Opposite Action Worktable:

Emotion	Emotion Driven Behaviour	Opposite Action
Anger	Attack, shout	Validate, avoid, or distract, use soft voice
Fear	Avoid, hunch shoulders	Approach what you fear, do what you’ve been avoiding, stand tall
Sadness	Shut down, avoid, isolate, be passive, think negatively about your reality	Be active, get involved, set goals, stand straight, self-care
Guilt/Shame	Punish yourself, people please, shut down, avoid	If unfounded guilt, continue doing whatever is triggering the guilt, till it’s gone’ if guilt is justified, make amends

Opposite action isn’t about denying or pretending an emotion isn’t happening… Rather about regulation and how you best approach responding rather than reacting and letting yourself be driven by negative emotion.

There are six steps to creating opposite action:

1. Start by acknowledging what you feel. Describe the emotions in words
2. Ask yourself if there’s a good reason to regulate or reduce the intensity of this emotion. Is it over-powering you? Does it drive you to do destructive things?
3. Notice the specific body language and behaviour that accompany the emotion. What are your facial expressions and whats your posture saying?
4. What are you saying and how are you saying it? What specifically do you do in response to the emotion?
5. Identify your opposite action. How can you relax your face and body so it doesn’t scream “I’m angry” or “i’m scared”
6. Fully commit to opposite action, set a time frame to work at it. How long will you maintain the opposite behaviour?
7. Monitor your emotions. As you do opposite action, notice how the original emotion may change or evolve. Opposite action sends a message to the brain that the old emotion is no longer appropriate – and it helps you shift to a less painful emotion.

Now it’s time for Advanced Planning Opposite-Action Planning Worksheet:

Heres a filled out worksheet as an example

Emotion	Emotion-Driven Behaviour	Opposite Action	Time Period	Outcomes
Feeling rejected, angry	Withdrawing 2. Attacking3. Little revenges	Say what hurt in a soft, non-attacking voice. Be civil; end the conversation quickly. Do something for myself rather than revenge	As long as the conversation lasts	My conversations were calmer, they didn’t escalate into fights. I expressed how I felt in a civil way
Guilt	1. Being fake or “phony nice” 2. Attacking	Apologize straight up, but let people know I don’t like how I was treated.	As long as the conversation lasts	People appreciated my honesty. I expressed how I felt in an honest way

Here are the downloadable worksheets: