Being the Bully
Firstly… It takes courage to stop being a bully. Just because you’ve started bullying doesn’t mean you have to continue. Help with bullying isn’t just available to people who’ve been bullied. Many anti-bullying support groups also help people who are involved in bullying themselves.
Talk to a parent, teacher or an older pupil who you get on well with. Your school should be able to help you. Some schools have peer support schemes, where older children are trained to help younger children deal with bullying. Peer support is also usually available to children and young people who say they’re bullies.
If you’re worried about being judged and don’t want to speak to anyone you know, you can get help anonymously by contacting a helpline.
Why do people bully others?
There are many reasons why people bully others. It may be that they’re unhappy and are taking it out on someone else. Many people who bully have low self-esteem, and bullying can be a way of coping with this. In some cases, people who bully are also being bullied themselves.
Others are encouraged to bully by their friends and do it because they don’t want to be left out. Some people pick on others because they’re looking for attention or because they’re feeling jealous.
You can learn to understand how bullying affects others badly here:
Ways to stop being a bully:
1. Be kind to yourself and try to be kind to others
Although this isn’t always easy, you can start by smiling at a stranger or helping someone in need. But firstly, you need to say nice things to yourself an understand how negativity towards ourselves can sometimes makes us negative towards other people.
2. Practice empathising with others
- Spend time with people and get to know them on a deeper level.
- Understand that everyone is equal: you are not better than other people, and they are not better than you.
- Appreciate what makes each person unique, instead of judging them for their differences.
3. Look at your insecurities
One reason you may bully others is because you may not feel good enough in yourself and therefore, feel the need to put others down to lift yourself up. Self reflect on your own negative self talk and look at the things you may feel ashamed of and try to change the outlook on them by contacting a professional or learning to love yourself and others.
- When I feel the need to put someone down, I can stop, think and say something nice or say nothing and stop myself from hurting others.
